Gaia Community: Marianne's Blog

What do you think is dangerous?

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 17:59:54 GMT

Ignorance on any level.

Tags: QaR, dangerous, cautious, careful, danger

Animal Messengers in Dreamtime

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 18:29:14 GMT

There was a time when the members of the Animal tribe were respected and revered and they spoke to us. But man began dishonoring them and they stopped talking to us.

When, in Dreamtime, we meet these animal messengers- If we are aware enough to remember that they can talk, and you talk to them first- they will answer you.

I started to have a re-occuring dream during my spiritual awakening of a Polar Bear chasing me- no matter what dream I was having he would appear and chase me until I awoke afraid.

My Spiritual Teacher at that time reminded me to talk to the Bear...

The next night- while running from the Giant White Bear- I remembered to 'talk to the Bear'.... I stopped in my dream- turned and faced the Bear (scared to death- by the way!) and said 'What do you want?'
The Bear immediately replied 'You're running the wrong way.'

I awoke and realized- I was running the wrong way...I was running from Bear (introspection) afraid to face myself and the life I had created out of fear. White- (the North) a place of wisdom- when at that time of my life I was running from the wisdom I knew- and was being ruled by Coyote- tricking myself...being a victim to the events of my life.

This Messenger came to remind me that if I only look within- apply the wisdom I had- stop running from the message that my life needed and was on the brink of a great change- if I only had the courage to face myself and the illusion I created.

Tags: dreams, native american- introspection, bear

The Medicine Wheel of Life

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:49:06 GMT

The Medicine Wheel of Life

The cycles of life revolve like the great Medicine Wheel.
Each of us on the never ending circle.
Like Grandmother Moon circles
from dark to full to dark again;
completing her monthly cycle.
As the seasons cycle
Spring
Summer
Fall
Winter
This circle is never ending.

From the time of our birth
that sets our feet on the Good Red Road-
Our mission is one of discovery and learning
as we walk day by day
season by season
around the great Medicine Wheel of our Life.
From Child to Adolescent
From Adult to Elder
the days unfold.

Learning and Teaching
Joy and Sadness
Plenty and Poverty
Love and Loss
The seasons of one's Life pass-
ever cycling.

Awakening us to the experience of living
sharing what we have learned,
and leaving that Legacy to All our Relations.

It then comes time when we must leave the Good Red Road;
a time when we 'Drop our Robe'
and shed this human vessel
that houses our souls for a short time-
and begin our journey on the Blue Road of Spirit.
There we enter the world of our Ancestors,
who rejoice at our return;
While our relations mourn our leaving.

To share what we have learned.
Becoming another spoke
on the Medicine Wheel of Life.

Posted by Marianne Goldweber

Tags: Native American, medicine wheel, seasons, cycles, death, birth, joy, pain, learning, experience

Two Wolves- Our Greatest Teachers

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Mon, 18 May 2009 14:39:03 GMT

Two wolves- Our greatest teachers

There is a Cherokee poem that refers to two teachers- represented by wolf.
Wolf is the totem animal for teacher- or a teaching.

I always stress that everyone that comes into our journey is sent to teach us about ourselves. Some of these encounters are wonderful and pleasant and some are painful and difficult.

These are the people and situations that teach us the most.

I have had many teachers that have appeared on my journey but one in particular has challenged me to the core of my being. This individual challenges me to search within myself for a solution based not in anger,punishment and revenge; but in understanding, peace and love..

This is where my human/spirit struggle ensues and I have to take everything I have learned on my journey to awakening and apply it here.

It is an internal tug of war- an angel on one shoulder whispering love and the demon on the other whispering hate.

We all have such a teacher- and if you don't you will- these teachers are sent periodically to see if you are healing - if you are walking your talk- to remind you that you are human and evolution is a constant process.

So- I have two wolves in my heart- which one will win?

The one I feed.

Here is the thought for the day-

Two Wolves

An old Cherokee chief is teaching his grandson about life:

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope,
serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old chief replied, "The one you feed."

Tags: native american, evolving, peace love, hate chos anger, revenge, pain, healing, joy, divorce

I am Mother

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Mon, 11 May 2009 03:45:30 GMT

Mother

Mothering begins at birth-
In a moment of contrasts
The movement inside gone;a death.
Then an indescribable celebration;
a new life at the breast
while the womb contracts and mourns it's loss.

The life sustaining umbilical cord severed;
but there will always be a cord that will never be cut.

I will continue to nourish you in a different way
from near or far
I will always know.

I am Mother;
Life bringer
Nourisher
Leader
Provider
Healer
Warrior
Shape shifter
Sage
Goddess
and Prophesier

I am the wellspring;
for any and all that thirst or need fed.

I fill my cup from an inexhaustible source;
I am love and comfort
I am patience and truth
I am encouragement and strength
I am Faith.
and give you my cup to slake your thirst.
Marianne Goldweber

Tags:

Mother's Day 2009- The Sisterhood

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:10:15 GMT

Mother's Day 2009- The Sisterhood

Websters defines the word Mother in a number of ways- but my favorite is
"Source or origin".
The Female part of the Creative force is a fertile place where life springs from.

The mother represents the source of life-
Mother is the nurturing place we return to feel loved, and understood.
Mother is the lap we put our head and lay our fears.
Mother is where we go to ease our pain.

Being born female is a great responsibility- first to ourselves and then for others. We are the creative force- the fertile ground that nourishes and gives birth.
We are the breast from which everyone drinks.

The strength of this feminine force is divine.

The pain associated with our cycles and birthing is a rite of passage that represents acceptance of one's own pain and suffering as a means of spiritual purification and growth. Being a mother is not just the physical act of birthing- It is a celebration of the female creative force.

Giving birth signifies the time of "becoming"- that we are now responsible for another person and their well being and growth.

I am blessed to have given birth. It was a life changing event for me- it was also a life changing experience for my son's father. He witnessed a strength that came from the depths of human instinct. It was also something that he could never do.
It changed our relationship, something that I don't believe either of us expected.

Giving birth awoke in me an inner strength and resolve that I did not know I had.
It is now the litmus that I hold all other life challenges up to.

There was no quitting- there was no giving up- another life depended on me to "labor" and bring them into this world or they would die.
Motherhood is was the most responsibility I have ever taken in my life.

What I have come to find is that my monthly suffering and labor prepared me for other kinds of pain that being a mother bring;
The pain of having to allow my child to have his own thoughts and feelings.
His own aspirations that don't include me.It was the pain of their illness- where you feel alone and helpless.It was the pain of watching them fall- and letting it happen.It was the pain of watching them be hurt by the cruelty of people and the world; and encouraging them to rise.

It is summoning the courage to fight for them, to champion them - to defend them.
To change the world for their sake and to allow them to leave in order to take our love forward as they begin their own journey....

So in this celebration of Mothers Day-honor the anniversary of your Rite of passage- Celebrate all the things that being a Mother represent.
When you meet another Mother- remind her of her courage and her strength- because our experiences bind us all together in this sisterhood of Mother.
Marianne Goldweber

Tags: feminine, mother, nurturing, sisters, children, birth, death

Birthdays- A time to Celebrate

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:13:10 GMT

What is a Birthday? A birthday is technically the anniversary of the day we came kicking and screaming into this world- through the pain and labor of our Mothers. It is the day our soul entered into a journey - through this human experience - to learn- evolve and become enlightened- and then to teach that to another.

I will probably call my Mother- as I usually do to thank her for that.
I don't really make a fuss about birthdays, but today marks a special year.

Every seven years we experience a transitional age- at 7 we are no longer babies- we become children- at 14 we transition into adolescence- at 21 we become adults....and so on...

For me this year marks the last year before a major transition. this will be year for me to take the opportunity to really put the past to rest- to reflect and celebrate the victories and take all that growth and knowledge into the next 7 year phase of growth. I'm pretty excited- and a little sad...
Today is also the New moon- a time of finishing- mourning and reflecting on what hasn't come to pass and creating what I want to happen.

It's kind of like watching 'It's a wonderful life'.. We wonder- what purpose has my existence served by being here? - What difference am I really making to others?

So the phone rang this morning and I hear my friend Jen singing Happy Birthday-

Then I get Online and see all the wonderful people whom I've met along this great journey- taking the time to stop and wish me well ...and I am so grateful,
for it truly is a Wonderful Life....
Happy Birthday to me........

Tags:

Serenity- The Path to Peace

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 16:04:49 GMT

The Serenity prayer is a reminder for me that I have control or power over no one but myself. The chaos is from my trying to manage things that I have no control over.
If I change me- I am then a mirror for others to look to for Peace.
In addition to allowing others to come to their awakening in their own time, withoout my influence., the same way it had to happen for me.
Marianne

Full Original Serenity Prayer
by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Tags: serenity, peace

Free Dream Interpretation

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 16:25:58 GMT

This is going to be fun! Get in line folks!!
Dream interpretation is my hobby. Being a medium/Clairvoyant professionally; I love to awaken others to their own inner guidance- teaching folks to acknowledge and decipher the messages you yourself are receiving on a 'nightly' basis...

For the next week- I will accept emails from you about your dreams and I will post one answer every day randomly from the emailed dreams I receive....I will post my interpretation here so you can learn what they mean and how to decipher them for yourself in the future...

How does the Universe send us messages- how can we become more aware of this communication- through your Dreams of course!!

While our human self is asleep and out of the way- our dream time connects our higher selves with the Universe.

The challenge with dreams and visions is they are usually symbolic- everything and everyone in the dream is an actor in the play- designed to get you a very specific message about what we are facing in the waking world.

So stay tuned- get your dream journals out and lets post some wonderful messages and see what they really mean!!!!

Tags: Dreams, channeling, messages, univrse, mariannegoldweber

Do-gooder out of control...lol

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 15:29:35 GMT

Peception is a very interesting thing. It's like when you find out your pregnant- and then all of the suddden- every commercial on TV is for baby stuff...

It's not like a 'sigh' from the Universe- it's that your perception has shifted. You become acutely AWARE of the baby commercials...lol

If you follow this blog- I am an advocate for the homeless and those of us who are suffering. So.."I see homeless" people everywhere..(Like "I see Dead People)... you would be shocked to know that they are everywhere-regardless of where you live...

Anyway- I went to the gas station in my neighborhood- There was a man standing outside- in the freezing cold at the end of the building- he had on boots that weren't laced- a hoodie under about three other light jackets- he had rubber gloves on under his gloves and he was a little scruffy- and looked tired and worn.

My homeless radar went off. I went in bought my vanilla creamer and a pack of smokes and when I came out and he was still there- so I said "Good Morning!"- he said "good morning"- I said "I'm a minister that does out reach for the homeless- is there anything you need?" He looked at me a little strangely (common) and said "Huh?"
I said, " I'm heading downtown- are you homeless?" His face broke out in a gigantic smile and he started laughing- I though he was going to spill his coffee..

He said "No- I'm wating for my car to get fixed across the street and came to get a coffee.." I appologized. He said "Wow- thanks for noticing me. It's nice to know that people are out here caring about people." I told him I was glad he had a home- and was OK. he said thanks again!!.....

I think I'm out of control.....lol

Hey- Better safe than sorry- but I'll bet he starts to see homeless people....lol

Tags: funny, homeless, good deeds, random acts of kindness, poverty, cleveland

Road Trip- Marianne takes the kids to the homeless shelter

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 23:08:06 GMT

I am the car pool Mom and take my son and four other kids home ever day.
Yesterday I had been taking donations to various agencies throughout Cleveland.

I picked up the kids and they were being kids- picking on and fighting with each other...
(I say kids but they are in junior high)

So I told them I had to make a stop to drop off one more donation- and I took them to the Men's homeless shelter in downtown Cleveland. I had a load of blankets - and knowing the temperature was going down again, I felt they would be desperately needed.

Well...Divine timing being what it is- we arrived at about 3:30- just when the men are lining up to get in to the shelter for the evening. There were at least 60+ men standing in line with their bags of possessions. My son goes there all the time- but the others had never been there.
The car got very quiet.

I turned around and explained- In the morning- the shelter makes all the men go out to the street, it seams mean- but if they didn't, they wouldn't look for work- or see how painful this way of life is. I explained that these men have serious problems. Some are addicted to drugs and alcohol- some are mentally ill. Some got out of prison and can't find work- because they have had no education- or their criminal record makes it almost impossible to get a job.Some just had tragedy that left them without.

But when they come in to the shelter at night- they get food, a bed, a shower, laundry and counseling if they want it- and if they do- they help them get their lives in order. They get them medical- mental health and legal assistance- even tutors from the college come to help them get their GED and even a permanent place to live.

So I told them to lock the doors while I dropped off the blankets.
I walked across the street and all the men said hi!!! What 's in the bags- is it food- can I have some??? They were laughing and they even held the door for me. I left the bag at the desk and went right back out. One man yelled- "Will you marry me??" "I yelled back- "You don't want me I'm a lot of work!!" which got a big laugh from the entire group...

All the while- 5 pairs of very large eyeballs were watching from the van.

I got back in the car- and we all waved at the men who were waving at us....
I expressed how grateful I am for my life....
It was a pretty quiet ride home....

Marianne Goldweber

Tags: homeless, children, compassion, love, gratitude, appreciation, marianne goldweber, donate

Feast Day of St Bernadette of Lourdes

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:08:19 GMT

Today is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception-and the day that St Bernadette was canonized as a Saint. Her 'Feast Day'. I am posting this information because Saint Bernadette holds a special place in my heart- and seeing now how similarly the lives of this Saint has mirrored parts of my life.

First- I was born with a club foot. My Irish Aunts went to the convent of the Poor Claire's (on Rocky River Drive, Cleveland) and received a bottle of holy water from Lourdes- they gave it to my mother with instructions to put it on my foot every day with a prayer to the Virgin Mother. The sisters of the Poor Claire's would say Novena's on my behalf for a specified period of time. According to my mother- my foot straightened out- miraculously- without the need for braces or surgery.
Secondly-
When I was confirmed in the Roman Catholic Church- I took the name of St Bernadette as my 'confirmation name'.I did so because I felt a Spiritual understanding (even at that time in my life) of knowing things and seeing things that were not believable and how she stood in her faith against ridicule- especially by the Church.( I was also being mercilessly bullied at that time from many directions)

Her visions and conversations with the Mother were very profound for me- and it brought me comfort in knowing that even though Bernadette was just a simple girl- she was called. It confirmed for me there were Angelic beings who love us;And even though we are not famous or powerful- we can still be called to do great things.
So here is a little bit of history about one of my patron saints.- I am Marianne Jane Bernadette- Named after Mary- the Mother- Ann her mother and St Jane- the patron saint of forgotten people. (amazing....lol)- and Bernadette- patron saint of illness and poverty...

Have a Blessed day. :)

st bernadette

<b>Chronicle of Significant Events in the Life of St. Bernadette
7th January 1844 The birth of Bernadette to Francois and Louise Soubirous. She was christened Marie Bernadette on 9th January at St. Peter's Parish Church in Lourdes.
Autumn 1855 The plague broke out in Lourdes. Bernadette was infected by the plague. Although she recovered from it, she fell victim to asthma, and was to suffer for this for the rest of her life.
11th February -
16th July 1858 It was during this period that the eighteen (18) apparitions took place. Our Lady on most occasions simply prayed with Bernadette and allowed herself to be contemplated. At other times, Our Lady would converse with Bernadette, giving her instructions, thus bequeathing to us the message and the spirituality of Lourdes.
19th May 1866 The crypt which formed the basis of the Chapel in Lourdes (desired by Our Lady through Bernadette) was inaugurated and consecrated by Bishop Laurence of Tarbes.
4th July 1866 Bernadette left Lourdes and entered the Convent of Saint Gildard to become a nun under the Order of the Sisters of Charity in Never.
30th October 1867 Bernadette took her Religious Vows together with 43 other novitiates. Bernadette remained in Nevers because she was ill and considered incapable. She was entrusted with the task of working in the infirmary of the convent and of helping in the kitchen.
16th April 1879 Bernadette had been suffering serious attacks of asthma and tuberculosis of the bones of her legs. She died at 3:00pm on this day. Bernadette was just over 35 years old.
23rd September 1903 Bernadette's body was exhumed, 30 years after her death, as part of the ecclesiastical investigation leading up to beatification and canonization. Her body was found to be incorrupt, the whiteness of her body preserved and there was no odor.
14th June 1925 The Beatification of Bernadette.
8th December 1933 Pope Pius XI proclaimed Bernadette Saint. The Canonization of Bernadette Soubirous took place on this day, which was the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.
Present St. Bernadette's body is still in a perfect state. Her body, covered by a thick layer of wax for preservation, is resting inside a bronze and crystal urn, in the chapel of the Convent of Nevers in France.
Saint Bernadette Soubirous
(1844-1879)</b>

Tags:

Stopping abuse

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:54:40 GMT

violence

I was reading a beautiful posting by 'OldMan'- Michael- here on Gaia
http://theancientone.gaia.com/blog/2008/8/let_no_man_raise_his_hand#comments
The subject of his blog was honoring women as the creative force and his intolerance to the abuse of women.
It was beautiful.

As I read it- it reminded me- (as Gaia does!) of my journey to awakening and how- not so long ago I was a victim at the hands of many people who treated me badly.
I am posting my response because we all need to be reminded of the truth in our society .
Also, what we can we do as spiritual warriors to RISE and champion others who cannot champion themselves?

Be a mentor- volunteer with women and men who abuse or hav been abused- volunteer at a orphanage where children of abuse live. Find a way to empower our mothers and fathers so we can create loving healthy families.

Micheal- first, thank you for your message of honor and respect for women.
Frankly I was a person who allowed myself to be emotionally abused. I was a victim to this treatment most of my life.

Through my spiritual awakening I saw that my adult behavior was hinged on my childhood experiences- the experience (and teachers) continued to be sought out by me because of the experiences I was shown as a child.

This knowing allowed me to remove the victim and accept responsibility as an adult woman to heal that place. Then I was able to I could break this dangerous cycle in my life. I then became a teacher for other men, women and children- empowering them to understand themselves and each other in order to create loving relationships with themselves and others.

Our male children are rarely taught( in our society) what it is to be a man. What the rights and responsibilities are -because there are not enough healthy teachers present. We must see that boys too need nurturing in order to be compassionate men- the 'suck it up Nancy' machismo thought of denying their feminine side is a load of crap. So they equate sex and power with Love.

Our girls do not see themselves as the 'Life bringers' the Creative force in the world. They are so starved for nurturing that they compromise them themselves; giving in to sex to satisfy the need to be loved and connected.- The women and men in their lives have taught them this.

So the root of this issue is; our children need to be nurtured- have examples of women and men who love themselves and others unconditionally- who set personal boundaries and respect the boundaries of others.

There is no easy answer- but our world is full of bullies and victims- all suffering from the same issue- Lack of nurturing- lack of self esteem and ultimately-lack of Love.

Tags: violence abuse, empowerment, bully, victim, awakening

Compassion- Be a Leader

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 21:35:10 GMT

No matter where you are- it's never an accident. From the place you work to the situations and encounters that occur throughout the day. These encounters are not a coincidence-which leads me to my story...

Today I was in Giant Eagle Grocery store. I live in a relatively Urban part of Cleveland- full of diversity- which I love- and why I have not moved in 12 years... This Giant Eagle it is one of those places where the diversity abounds. There are people from every ethnicity- from every socioeconomic level- and lifestyle. It is a virtual melting pot of humanity.

I don't frequent this store usually because everyone who works there seems unhappy and feels the need to let you know. So I usually have to have my 'psychic armor' on just to shop there.

<i>My Disclaimer before I begin-This is not a judgment this is a spiritual observation of the goings on...lol</i>

Today, I was in the checkout line, and the man running the register was in a very bad mood- picking on and making fun of the other man packing my groceries. He was being very sarcastic and mean- in a kidding way;but what I found most interesting is they both had physical disabilities; one more than the other.

Another employee came up and announced to the others that there were two elderly women begging for money in the parking lot. (they do this all the time-- so they said) Which started a tirade of judgment and opinion about people who beg- and what they 'need to do' about these women.

The customer and cashier from the line next to me chimed in about getting 'tired' of giving money to people who refuse to work or drink it away- "They should get a damn job" said the young man who made the announcement-and they went on and on.

I really couldn't be present to this situation and allow them to spew this intolerance anymore. I said "What about compassion?"They became very quiet. "It's not about the money- it's about compassion. No one wakes up deciding to be in poverty. They may not have the tools to change what's happened- or be aware of what to do next. They may be too proud or naive to ask for help in a better way."

The conversation abruptly ended.
A wave of sadness came over me.

When will we see there is no 'them'?
'They' are 'me' and all of us. What befalls one, eventually befalls us all- we are all connected.

If you bear witness to these situations- they are the way the Universe presents opportunities to us- to challenge us- to see how we will respond.

Do we apply all the spiritual things we are reading?

Do we walk our talk?

We are being called to rise. To stamp out the darkness that has separated us.
Do you have the courage to answer?

Find the strength to Speak your Truth with love and make a difference in our World.

Tags:

What was your favorite childhood song or lullaby?

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 20:48:04 GMT

All the Pretty Horses (Harp Lullaby)

Hush a bye- an old scottish lullaby- my favorite rendition is by Peter Paul and Mary.
I sang this to my son while I was pregnant- and it was the only song that soothed him after he was born...
It makes me miss those nights when I would rock him and sing- he smelled so sweet. and I was peaceful.
Thank you for making me remeber..

Tags: QaR, song, childhood, lullaby, memories

Inside the dreams of a Psychic- (oh boy!)

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 20:07:19 GMT

Dreams are so much more than what they seem- it is the easiest way for the Unverse to deliver messages to your higher self.
I am a Pisces- so dreaming is very powerful for me-it's like going to the movies...
I recently had an amazing dream.. I think you will enjoy it!

I was at a beautiful castle- it had a cafe' outside- and the Dalai Lama was sitting there in the lotus position while people milled about- (kind of like an art festival) Mary Bontempo (a spiritual teacher I know) gave me a free ticket (from the Dalai Lama) to enter the castle- It was really a labyrinth- designed to lead to enlightenment.

I knew I had to pick my son up in an hour- but I figured I can do this in an hour..I'm pretty enlightened (HAH!).

I went inside- it was a series of hallways and stairs that entered from a million directions- each one lead to a room where there was a specific activity going on.

The first room I went into was a group of German WWII soldiers coloring and painting- having a good time. One of them said- come in and paint! "You have to play with us." I said-" no, I have to go and pick up my son- he is waiting for me."They forced me to sit in a chair- there was a tube of orange paint on it and it got all over me. They thought that was funny and were laughing. I was angry/panicked and left.

Then I went up and down the stairs and hallways- looking for a way out. I ws getting increasingly angry and panicked. I was on a balcony- where I looked over the edge and saw it was a few feet to the ground-I figured I could jump and get out of here.. But another girl climbed over the edge- once she did- the ground disappeared and it was a bottomless vortex.(crap!) People were trying to help her back up. I thought- well- can't do that...

I went back to the room with the German's. They said again- you must play with us- so I sat again and started coloring and a magical door appeared- It was the key- you had to perform the activity in each room in order to make the shortcut appear!!! Hooray!!!

I was still in a hurry- but now I had the key to getting out of here in a faster way- I just had to play along.
I went to what seemed a million rooms-everyone more bizarre than the next- determined to play the game and leave.

The last hallway lead to a doorway to a pitch black room. It felt a little scary- There were whisper-y voices in there.

Just as I was summoning my courage to go in (My son waiting and wondering was my motivation) and a rubber hand on an accordion thing -came out of the room into the hall.... I 'knew' that If I took the hand- and didn't let go- it would lead me through the darkness, past all the scary things in there that I could not see- to the other side...

I knew that the hand was God- Great Spirit-
and that was the key to Enlightenment--
Trust the hand will guide you- have Faith..

I took the hand and ..

woke up.... :)

Tags: dreams, visions, fear, faith, marianne

Day of Surrender...

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 19:19:10 GMT

Every awakening begins with surrender of a former awareness...and as someone once said..."The saddest day, is the day the illusions dies"..

For all of us, the call to awakening begins with a surrender;- or a series of surrenders.
Surrender of our human ego
Surrendering to faith-in a power greater than me.
Surrendering the idea that we have all the answers.
Surrendering to a Divine source for what's right in our life.

That day usually comes when we get to a place where we don't know what to do next and we have run out of options. These moments are when there is a choice to surrender, or keep manipulating things from out limited perception.

Sometimes these awakenings are gradual..but sometimes they are profound and Earth shattering...I have had many periods of awakening but none like the one I would like to share...

My life at that time, was unraveling like a bad sweater.
The harder that I tried to control events and people the worse it got. There came a day when I was out of options, out of manipulative tricks-- out of answers- I felt no one noticed my suffering- and no one was coming to rescue me from my misery....

I was proverbially at the end of my very tattered rope. Death seemed like the only way to get relief,- but even that wasn't an option- because I had a three year old who needed me..

I got on my knees in my living room and with the anger and frustration of a child,
I surrendered.
I told Creator- I give.. I do not know what I'm doing and I am done trying.
I am willing to listen to the wisdom and accept their will.

and then-
The most amazing peace came over me and I wept..
I wept for the scared and lonely person I had created
and I wept for joy-
to be free of the responsibility of managing things.

And that day- I realized I was loved. I was trying to change everyone and everything around me- but the only person that had escaped my scrutiny was me...
I was the one that needed changing....and the help I needed was not a person- but the Divine Universe. My guides and ancestors loved me and knew me better than I knew myself- and loved me anyway...unconditionally..

This was the most liberating day of my life....

Our story is just a story- and the more we tell it- the more it loses its power.
In that sharing what we find is everyone has a story...
and your story is my story....

Tags: surrender, awakening, peace, love, 12 step, faith, hope, change, death, despair

The real world

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 18:52:57 GMT

The real world..
Current mood: Motivated
Category: Motivated Goals, Plans, Hopes

I have spent the holiday vacation doing all the wonderful things that I don't normally get to do.

Hang out and play with my son, play video games with him all night long, visit with friends, play cards (poker, BS and pennies) clean my house, take a nap, run errands, clean and purge my basement.…

But there is one thing that I indulged in during this time that was more addictive, more of a diversion, and more of a vacuum of time that anything else- and that was …the INTERNET….

Wow, it was like a drug, I lost all sense of time…

I was creating pages on MySpace and Facebook- I was looking up old clients and friends- I was reading the postings of the lost, the lonely and the bizarre…

I was adding applications that saved the rain forest- I even dressed up a little virtual dog in a pirate hat to donate money for animal rescue…I wondered what people were saying about me on "Tagged"…what presents did my friends send me? Who "bought me" as their Pet….lol

Minutes turned into hours. I realized at one point that I hadn't moved for hours..Or eaten lunch…or gone to the bathroom for that matter… I was in a vortex of illusion….

As a Pisces, this was Nirvana!!!

I am sending this blog with a Question and a Request…

How many hours do you spend diverting our life with the internet, or things that divert ourtime?

Do you reach out in the community to volunteer or do random acts of kindness…?

Do you belong to any groups where you have to leave the house and meet with people in person?

Can you talk to strangers while you are out and about- Saying hello and how are you?

If you answered no to any of these- turn off the computer and go find something else to do..

Look for your purpose- Be of service to the less fortunate- visit someone in a nursing home- deliver meals to shut ins…Invite a friend to volunteer with you…Run an errand for the elderly… volunteer at the local animal shelter.. Walk a dog for someone who can't get out…and before you know it- you will have made new and real friends- and reconnected with your old ones in a more purpose filled way!

But for God's sake... and your own- discover the world outside your door….

Actively yours,

Marianne

Tags: facebook, myspace, marianne, avillage, diversion, lost, hope, activity

The Christmas Angel

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:48:36 GMT

My 12 year old son wrote this for his English class...

The Christmas Angel
It was Christmas Eve, and God was looking at the Earth. He saw horrible things. He saw that the people were selfish and greedy. They were cutting down the forests, and they were killing the animals for fun. God was very disappointed with the humans and flooded the Earth before. Maybe he needed to do that again.

God called a meeting with every single angel in Heaven. He said, "I have been thinking about allowing a fire to destroy the Earth." "I have many angels down there to wake the people up, but they won't listen. They are selfish and busy with being greedy. There is no Peace or Love." said God.

One of the Angels stepped up, his name was Chamuel- he was the angel of Tolerance. He said "There are many people trying to help the Earth but are having a hard time because they don't want to listen. "I know that change is coming, if we could just give them more time." said Chamuel. Then God said, "Chamuel, if you can find 3 people that are kind ,loving and giving in 12 hours, I will help the people save the Earth. " Chamuel said ok, and God made him a homeless man, like many of the other angels he sent before, and put him on Earth.

God put Chamuel in front of a mall in Michigan. He was wearing an old brown shirt, torn jeans and tennis shoes- or at least he thought they were tennis shoes because they were held together with duct tape. He had no socks, hat, or gloves and his coat was filthy. He saw himself on the window at Sears, he looked pretty bad. He started walking around asking for money. Everyone he went up to said "No!". Some of them said "Get away freak", "Get a job", "You stink". Some ignored him. "Maybe God was right" Chamuel thought. Just then, a man came up to him and said "Here's a sandwich" and gave him the brown paper bag, and a twenty dollar bill. Chamuel thanked him as the man scurried to work. "Yes! One down, two to go and I still have nine hours left" said Chamuel. Just then the security guard grabbed him and told him to get out of there.

Chamuel walked and walked for a long time until he found a park. There were kids playing in the snow. They were sledding and having a fun time. He sat on the bench to eat the sandwich the man had given him, when he heard a crash of breaking ice and a kid yelling for help. Chamuel ran over to the pond where the kid fell in, he jumped in and pulled him to safety. Just then, the boy's mother came running over yelling at Chamuel, asking what he did to her son. He tried to tell her that he sledded into the pond, but she was screaming for help. It just so happened that a policeman was driving by, and he stopped, hearing the woman yelling. Chamuel was frozen and wet. He explained to the policeman, but he put him in the police car anyway. The officer gave him his coffee and his gloves, and a blanket from the trunk. He told Chamuel "You better go to the hospital; you might have hypothermia and frostbite." The policeman said he would drive him there. "See God, I told you there is Love here" Chamuel prayed. One to go, but he had less than an hour left.

He got to the hospital emergency room and went up to the nurse at the desk. He waited but she ignored him, then she looked up and asked him if he had money to pay. He said "No, I don't" She was rude and said "Wait over there with the others" and pointed over to a group of homeless and poor looking people who were waiting too.

He sat down, and saw a man on a stretcher off to the side in a hallway. He looked like someone he knew. Chamuel got up and went over to him. He was very old and homeless too. He knew this man! He was Ezekiel, an angel messenger sent here by God, a long time ago. Ezekiel was dying. He was getting ready to go back to Heaven. Chamuel said "Ezekiel, is that you?" Ezekiel said, "Chamuel, my old friend, I failed my mission, I could not get people to understand. Now I am old and my time here is done." Chamuel said, "You did your best," and while holding his hand, Ezekiel died. Chamuel cried, for his friend and for the people of Earth. His time too was short; he had just 15 minutes left.

As Chamuel went back to the waiting area a small boy came up to him, he had a small bunch of flowers. The little boy handed him a tissue for his still watery eyes. He asked, "Was that your friend?" Chamuel said "Yes, what is your name?" He said, "My name is Joshua, My mom has cancer. I'm waiting while she has her treatment. Sometimes I get sad too, because I'm afraid she is going to die." A nurse pushing a woman in a wheel chair came over. Joshua said "Hi Mom!" this is my friend. She shook the Angel's hand, and said "I'm Jenny, it's nice to meet you." As Chamuel shook her hand, she felt tingly all over. Her son was the third and final person,that through his kindness and Love saved the Earth.

Chamuel gave Jenny and her son Joshua an amazing gift that Christmas Eve, he healed her Cancer. Chamuel let go of her hand and said "It's my pleasure to meet both of you too. I'm sorry, but I have to go, Merry Christmas!"

Chamuel walked to the elevator.He got to the elevator and there was Ezekiel already there. "Ready to go?" said Ezekiel. "Ready to go." said Chamuel. They pushed the very top button that only the angels can see, and when the doors opened they stepped into the light of Heaven.

The End.

"Continue to love on another, with true brotherly love, don't forget to be kind to strangers for some who have done this entertained angels without realizing it." Hebrews 13:2

Tags: angels, christmas, children, hope, faith love

A Simple Prayer

http://blueroadspirit.gaia.com — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 19:54:17 GMT

Creator,

Thank you for the many Blessings in my life

The joy of my days, and the serenity of my nights.

Allow me to see Clearly and with Maturity,

the challenges and opportunities before me.

Allow me to free myself from

the chains of Self-doubt and Fear

So I may move forward with the

Vision of Eagle and Heart of Mountain Lion.

Allow me to be gentle with my lessons,

Love unconditionally those in my

path without Judgment.

Allow me to seek forgiveness for others and myself

Creator, Watch over my Family and Friends

as they journey along the Good Red Road

Allow me to hear the messages, be conscious of the messengers,

So I may Walk In Beauty and heal our Mother Earth

Marianne

Tags: