The real world..
Current mood: Motivated
Category: Motivated Goals, Plans, Hopes

I have spent the holiday vacation doing all the wonderful things that I don't normally get to do.

Hang out and play with my son, play video games with him all night long, visit with friends, play cards (poker, BS and pennies) clean my house, take a nap, run errands, clean and purge my basement.…

But there is one thing that I indulged in  during this time that was more addictive, more of a diversion, and more of a vacuum of time that anything else- and that was …the INTERNET….

Wow, it was like a drug, I lost all sense of time…

I was creating pages on MySpace and Facebook- I was looking up old clients and friends- I was reading the postings of the lost, the lonely and the bizarre…

I was adding applications that saved the rain forest- I even dressed up a little virtual dog  in a pirate hat to donate money for animal rescue…I wondered what people were saying about me on "Tagged"…what presents did my friends send me? Who "bought me" as their Pet….lol

Minutes turned into hours. I realized at one point that I hadn't moved for hours..Or eaten lunch…or gone to the bathroom for that matter… I was in a vortex of illusion….

As a Pisces, this was Nirvana!!!

I am sending this blog with a Question and a Request…

 How many hours do you spend diverting our life with the internet, or things that divert ourtime?

Do you reach out in the community to volunteer or do random acts of kindness…?

Do you belong to any groups where you have to leave the house and meet with people in person?

 Can you talk to strangers while you are out and about- Saying hello and how are you?

If you answered no to any of these- turn off the computer and go find something else to do..

Look for your purpose- Be of service to the less fortunate- visit someone in a nursing home- deliver meals to shut ins…Invite a friend to volunteer with you…Run an errand for the elderly… volunteer at the local animal shelter.. Walk a dog for someone who can't get out…and before you know it- you will have made new and real friends- and reconnected with your old ones in a more purpose filled way!

But for God's sake... and your own- discover the world outside your door….

 

Actively yours,

Marianne

Every awakening begins with surrender of a former awareness...and as someone once said..."The saddest day,  is the day the illusions dies"..

For all of us, the call to awakening begins with a surrender;- or a series of surrenders.
Surrender of our human ego
Surrendering to faith-in a power greater than me.
Surrendering the idea that we have all the answers.
Surrendering to a Divine source for what's right in our life.

That day usually comes  when we get to a place where we don't know what to do next and we have run out of options. These moments are when there is a choice to surrender, or keep manipulating things from out limited perception.

Sometimes these awakenings are gradual..but sometimes they are profound and Earth shattering...I have had many periods of awakening but none like the one I would like to share...

My life  at that time, was unraveling like a bad sweater.
The harder that I tried to control events and people the worse it got. There came a day when I was out of options, out of manipulative tricks-- out of answers- I felt no one noticed my suffering- and no one was coming to rescue me from my misery....

I was proverbially at the end of my very tattered rope. Death seemed like the only way to get relief,- but even that wasn't an option- because I had a three year old who needed me..

I got on my knees in my living room and with the anger and frustration of a child,
I surrendered.
I told Creator- I give.. I do not know what I'm doing and I am done trying.
I am willing to listen to the wisdom and accept their will.

and then-
The most amazing peace came over me and I wept..
I wept for the scared and lonely person I had created
and I wept for joy-
to be free of the responsibility of managing things.

And that day- I realized I was loved. I was  trying to change everyone and everything around me- but the only person that had escaped my scrutiny was me...
I was the one that needed changing....and the help I needed was not a person- but the Divine Universe. My guides and ancestors loved me and knew me better than I knew myself- and loved me anyway...unconditionally..

This was the most liberating day of my life....

Our story is just a story- and the more we tell it- the more it loses its power.
In that sharing  what we find is everyone has a story...
and your story is my story....

Dreams are so much more than what they seem- it is the easiest way for the Unverse to deliver messages to  your higher self.
I am a Pisces- so dreaming is very powerful for me-it's like going to the movies...
I recently had an amazing dream.. I think you will enjoy it!
 

I was at a beautiful castle- it had a cafe' outside- and the Dalai Lama was sitting there in the lotus position while people milled about- (kind of like an art festival) Mary Bontempo (a spiritual teacher I know) gave me a free ticket (from the Dalai Lama) to enter the castle- It was really a labyrinth- designed to lead to enlightenment.

I knew I had to pick my son up in an hour- but I figured I can do this in an hour..I'm pretty enlightened (HAH!).

I went inside- it was a series of hallways and stairs that entered from a million directions- each one lead to a room where there was a specific activity going on.

The first room I went into was a group of German WWII soldiers coloring and painting- having a good time. One of them said- come in and paint! "You have to play with us."  I said-" no, I have to go and pick up my son- he is waiting for me."They forced me to sit in a chair- there was a tube of orange paint on it and it got all over me. They thought that was funny and were laughing. I was angry/panicked and left.

Then I went up and down the stairs and hallways- looking for a way out. I ws getting increasingly angry and panicked. I was on a balcony- where I looked over the edge and saw it was a few feet to the ground-I figured I could jump and get out of here.. But another girl climbed over the edge- once she did- the ground disappeared and it was a bottomless vortex.(crap!) People were trying to help her back up. I thought- well- can't do that...

I went back to the room with the German's. They said again- you must play with us- so I sat again and started coloring and a magical door appeared- It was the key- you had to perform the activity in each room in order to make the shortcut appear!!! Hooray!!!

I was still in a hurry- but now I had the key to getting out of here in a faster way- I just had to play along.
I went to what seemed a million rooms-everyone more bizarre than the next- determined to play the game and leave.

The last hallway lead to a doorway to a pitch black room. It felt a little scary- There were whisper-y voices in there.

Just as I was summoning my courage to go in (My son waiting and wondering was my motivation) and a rubber hand on an accordion thing -came out of the room into the hall.... I 'knew' that If I took the hand- and didn't let go- it would lead me through the darkness, past all the scary things in there that I could not see- to the other side...

I knew that the hand was God- Great Spirit-
and that was the key to Enlightenment--
Trust the hand will guide you- have Faith..

I took the hand and ..

woke up.... :)

Hush a bye- an old scottish lullaby- my favorite rendition is by Peter Paul and Mary.
I sang this to my son while I was pregnant- and it was the only song that soothed him after he was born...
It makes me miss those nights when I would rock him and sing- he smelled so sweet. and I was peaceful.
Thank you for making me remeber..